Not since the days of Henry Ford and Thomas Edison with the help of their new invention (the assembly line) has man had the ability to make thousands of an item and make them all exactly the same, and not since the days of Chevy Chase and Tim Allen has man had the ability to destroy thousands of an item in exactly the same way.
Yes. Folks, looking at the calendar it appears we are once again in that time in history known as light wars, or Chistmas lights, or as we call it in Port Gamble, "The Battle of the Bulbs."
I'm not sure how the masses in Port Gamble through the years have had Christmas lights without a competition, but that has got to come to an end. Why, now that all we have to deal with is LED bulbs (light emitting diodes) instead of the old tungston style, burns are a thing of the past and all we have left to avoid is ladders, (and an occasional burned out transformer!)
So at various locations today, men of many of the households of Port Gamble discussed who might want to be involved and what the chances are of winning the Battle might be.
First, of course, we decided early on that we would not set criterea for beating your neighbor until we knew what everyone's strengths are. So those are probably to be discussed over coffee or a beer later, perhaps after everyone has flipped his last switch. And we also dicussed finding an impartial way of judging, which could involve such things as comparing electric bills for December, or even comparing the heat emission of lights shown on satelight photos. But why worry about that yet? First we need to identify some of the players. What follows is not a list of all the people who can win, only the ones who's egos would make sure they were willing to get involved.
Anyone may enter at any time. If we see you with more than two ladders out at a time, we will assume you are in it for the rewards.
|Just add Snoopy to the roof .....|
And we will be watching and making reports, so don't let down!!! And remember, Tom and his crew of maintenance people will take care of holes in the roof, doors broken, etc.